Pre-Mid Life Jitters

I am not ashamed to say that I am fast approaching 40 (two years and 1.5 months to go).  I entered the 30's with much apprehension.  I beat myself up for all the things that I'd planned to do but didn't.  I drove myself crazy with regrets about my failed marriage and was completely consumed with the fear of giving my daughter a ton of emotional baggage to carry into adulthood.

By the time I was 35 I was completely in love with being 30-something. I found self-confidence that I didn't know existed.  I took risks and made big life changes. I learned how to express myself fully and completely. I even learned how to listen (this is an ongoing lesson by the way).  I am more aware of myself and my surroundings than ever. I embrace the not-so-great stuff and love all my "fleshy" parts too. I no longer strive to be something I'm not, because I have learned to love all that I am.

Now that many of my friends have breached the threshold of 40 I find that I'm getting a bit nervous about taking the plunge.  Make no mistake I am grateful for every single moment that has led up to this place, but as I look on and watch people that I've known for most of my life lose their minds, I'm a bit spooked.  Some have had "oops" babies, others have fallen into funks so deep that they can no longer see the light, and a few have ditched their mates and replaced them with "different" models.  This could all be a coincidence, a figment of my overactive imagination - or not.

I am holding on to the hope that my awareness will carry me through the transition. I am confident that I will make it through unscathed (perhaps a little singed). In the meantime I will continue to live in the moment, love with reckless abandon, and embrace change and challenge as they come.

If you have any mid-life survival stories to tell, please do share!